School

So this year of school has been really hard emotionally and spiritually. Im not a big fan of school and most of the time i just want to check out and say peace out Wayne, yet God wont allow me to or if He is im being stubborn and wont see it. See I use to love Wayne i use to love being there and seeing my friends and seeing what God was doing in there life well for some reason this year has changed a lot. I love Wayne and I love my friends but stuff is just different. I cant stand being there for to long I love to come home now and not only because I get to see my family but i get to go to the place where I feel like God is calling me to well for this summer. Its called Abide and i'm doing a summer leadership course with them called Spearhead and I know God is calling me there. I just want to be there and I dont know if its me wanting to just run from school and go do ministry or what it is but im ready for school to be done.

School has never been my thing. I've always been one of those people who learns outside of the classroom. I've learned more about life while I was in LA and while I've done things in Omaha then I ever have in the classroom. I've learned more about empathy and what it takes to be a good counselor outside of the classroom than i have ever learned in my classes for my counseling major. I want to be done with school and following God. I want to be more like Jesus and yes i can do that in Wayne but i feel like Wayne sucks life out of you sometimes. Im ready to be done!! I've prayed about and people have been praying for me and I just wish i had a peace about one of the two because honestly my heart is torn and I know God is working and I need to be praising Him for all that is going on and honestly I am because He is teaching me to cling to Him more and that I need to realize how amazing community is. So just be in prayer for me about what i need to do. I only have a year left and honestly it would be pointless to drop out and not finish school but I want to be happy and to follow God so i really dont know. So hopefully God will show me what He wants and He will show me how to be happy in the times when all i want to do is pout and have people feel sorry for me.

Thats not what I want. Truth be told what I want is prayer for God to show me His will and that my flesh would get out of that and that I would be obedient. I need more of Him and less of Me.

God Bless