Matthew 4:19-22

These verses are short yet speak so much truth. Jesus saw Peter and Andrew and says "Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed Jesus. Then as they were walking Jesus saw James and John and called them and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Jesus.

As Christians we are called to live by the living and breathing word the Holy Bible that is are guide to how we are to live. In James 1:22-24 it says Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. I read these verses and get convicted. I read them over and over and i think about how many times Jesus has told me to come and follow Him and i say i have other things to do. I have school, friends, family, and other things that take up my time. Yet the disciples had no idea who this man was yet they had faith. They stopped what they were doing to follow Him. Do we do that? If Jesus was to whisper to you tonight stop what you are doing and follow me. Would you do it? Would you stop school, friendships, family and have faith that know matter what is going on in your life Jesus will take care of it?

As Christians are we willing like Jesus says in Luke 9:23 The he said to them all:"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Are we willing to deny ourselves before our Heavenly Father and take up the cross? Are we willing to actually be like Jesus instead of reading the word because we are told that is what a "good Christian" does but yet read it because WE WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS? Are we willing to pray and ask God to shake are life up and ruin it and be more like Him and less like the world?

In Luke 9:62 Jesus says "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." We aren't called to be comfortable we are called to be uncomfortable. We are called to serve God and listen to His voice and do what He tells us to do.

Are we willing to actually say to God im ready to follow you know matter what. I'm willing to do deny myself and take up the cross, i'm willing to sell everything i own and give to the poor, i'm ready to listen to this voice that keeps telling me to leave school, leave my friends and family and have faith that you are going to take care of me? As Christians we aren't called to just sit in are church pews and be comfortable. We are called to get out of the church pews and be uncomfortable.

Are you a Christian who loves what Jesus has done for you or you a Christian who loves Jesus and wants to do everything to actually follow Him. And that means daily to strive to be like Him? Stop and think about that question. Are you really ready to live a "Radical" life? Are you willing to give up everything so you can have Christ live inside of you and to show you who He wants you to be? Christ doesn't just want us to say a prayer and boom we are done. He wants us to be like Him. He wants us to live like Him to strive to be like Him. We are called to be like Christ. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to stop being comfortable and start being uncomfortable?

Haiti

So i'm back in the states after spending 6 amazing days in a beautiful yet broken country. Lets just say i'm not the same after those 6 days. God totally broke me down, ruined me, and showed me what it means to be a Christian. Sorry that this is so long.

I will give you guys a list of what we all did. Thursday we got to Miami and that is where we meet everybody. There were 16 of us in total and it was a great group to say the least. I only had meet one person out of the whole group so it was kinda hard but at the end we all became a family. So thursday night everybody came in and we ate and did orintation and found out what we would all be doing and what time we needed to be up and ready to leave for the airport on friday.

So then we went to bed and friday came. We had to be out the door by 450 so we could get to the airport (thats really early). So we get to the airport and I'm not feeling good i mean im so nervous that i almost threw up. I have never left the country on a mission trip before, i dont know anybody and i just dont feel adequate to do this. But as we get on the plane and we are flying i just pray for peace and i didnt get it but thats okay. But what i did get was an amazing conversation with my friend James and Greg. We talked about Christians, the Church, my struggles, there struggles and what God has called us to. As im talking to James and Greg and what i've been going through this year at school and just really feeling broken James prays for me. It was amazing. On the flight he asked me why do i have issues with the church and with other christians in my life. I still can't answer the question fully im still figuring it out for my self.

We then land in Port-au-prince. Crazy i was thinking holy crap im in Haiti!!! We had to go through customs, immigration and all that stuff. After that we got on a bus and rode it for 2 hrs to the place we would be staying at. I was still really nervous and just didn't know what to think. I tried to take everything that i saw in. I can't even explain in words to what i saw. It was so bad. I mean it was literally a broken town. I couldnt talk to anybody on the bus because i was so nervous and so stressed. I just didn't know what to say. I felt like if i actually told people how i felt that they would be like then why did you come. I mean i then realized i really needed to say what i felt and tell people and figure it out for myself.

So we then go to St.Marc amazing place. We were staying at a base that is ran by Youth with a mission. Beautiful facility. We ate lunch then toured the city. After that we then got to our rooms and unloaded everything and walked around the town. It was amazing being able to just walk around St. Marc and hear the history about the town and what God has been doing. At the same time it broke my heart. I see these things and was thinking about what i had at home and then it hit me that this is all the Haitians know and all that is know is America unless i go to these places. We then had a team meeting to talk about the week and had some questions that we wanted to talk about and stuff like that.

Saturday came and we went to a part of St. Marc where YWAM is building houses and we started to build a house. It was so much fun. There were alot of little kids lets just say i played and held the kids more than trying to build the house. Woops. haha. the kids there are so amazing. They are so loving and so kind and just want to be held and showered with love. so all in all it was an amazing day. the kids tugged at my heart, we were able to get the house all built with the cement blocks, bonding happened and openness happened. So that night we had are nightly meeting and we all just kinda got open. We shared issues that we were having back home, we shared are highs for the day and we just became a family. That night i was able to talk to two people about what was going on in my life and they both really encouraged me to look at myself and what God wants from me instead of trying to do things to please other people.

Sunday was different. Because Church is very big in haiti we werent able to do any ministry so instead we went for a hike. The hike was beautiful yet hard. I'm not one who is in shape so it was very stressfull on my body but the biggest blessing was the people on the trip with me were so encouraging. They wouldnt leave me and were like Lauren take a break if you need to. It meant alot to me. I finally got the top and i just felt God. The city was amazing from the top of the mountain and just being able to see His creation was amazing. Then we went to the beach. I went into the water a couple of times but otherwise i just sat on the sand and thought about life and what i was doing and what God wanted from me. We then went back to the base and helped with Childrens church. that was a struggle but it was a huge blessing at the same time. I held a girl the entire time and she feel asleep and it was just a blessing. Then as i was leaving a little girl came up and held my hand and when i told her it was time to go because i had to go to church and she had to leave she jumped up into my arms and just gave me the biggest hug and it melted my heart. I just wanted to keep holding her and not leave. Then it was time for church. It was a different. they didnt have a sermon because Discipleship training school was graduating so they had that instead. It was really cool to see that and how God was using them. Then we had are meeting again and more openness came and more prayer and it was just really awesome to see how God was breaking us all down and using us.

Monday came and this was a different day. Instead of being at the house and helping build it i was in tent city for the first part of the day painting the doors and shutters and everything else. It was me 3 other girls and a guy. At 10:30 roy who was in charge of us said that we could go walk around and have 30 min to play with the kids. I should have told him if you send 4 girls off to play with little kids for 30 min it will end up being longer. I held a baby for 40 min and tried to put her back in her little crib that was actually a bowl with pillows. she started crying and i couldnt do it i couldnt put her back so kept holding her. When she finally did leave me i felt like crying because i was like how often does she actually get love and get held and it broke me. So we actually spent and hour and half with the babies. WOOPS. So we then went to the other site to eat lunch. I stayed there for the rest of the day and that was a hard day. We shoveled rocks into buckets moved the buckets and shoveled gravel into buckets and moved the buckets. My body hurt after that. But all in all it was a great day. That night we had another meeting and once again we just got closer and closer.

Tuesday are finally full day of doing work. This was a great day. We just moved rocks and stuff. But me i played with the kids and just help them and loved on them. I felt bad but there wasn't alot of manuel labor for me to do so i told myself it was okay. One girl who i feel in love with was there and i just held her. Her name is Fafa. She is adorable. It was just awesome being able to hold her and see her smile and be happy. We walked around together and she wouldnt let me walk anywhere without holding her hand. It just broke me. At 330 we were able to dedicate the house that we built and we prayed for the family, and the house. Then we went to distribute the donations. It was hard to watch but at the same time a blessing. I got see Fafa again and hold her and love her. But when it was time to leave i litterally broke down. I realized that i was never going to see these kids again but it was a huge blessing to have them and to hold them and to just love on them.

So there is my week in Haiti. I was blessed to be there, blessed to serve God there and i learned alot. Thanks for prayers and for everything.

Love

Lauren

I'm in Love

Thats right that is the title of my blog. I'm madly and passionately in love. I have been for about a year and half. On May 28th, 2009 it happened. It was a normal night i was at camp and talking to somebody and i decided to allow this Man into my heart. This man is Jesus Christ. Jesus has been there for me my whole life like no other person has ever been.

The reason i titled my blog this is because i'm 21 yrs old. I've never been pursued, never been asked out on a date. I'm constantly being asked by family if i will get married and my answer is i dont know. there answer to that is why don't you go on eharmony. haha. Well here is my true answer i would love to get married but do i think i will get married i have no idea. I'm trusting God with it. But do I want to get married yes and no.

The reason behind the yes and no is because i have really high standards towards the man i will marry. He has to be a man after God's own heart, he has to have a heart for the poor, he will support me in everything i do. We will live in the inner city and we will strive to be like Christ daily. I also want to live a simple life. This means nothing big. I dont want a diamond. I dont want a big house i dont want anything fancy. I want to live simply because i want to rely on Christ for everything and support other people.

I dont know what God has planned for my life. But as of right now at the age of 21 i dont have a desire to get married. My main desire is to strive after God and do what HE wants in my life. This means going to college finishing it and praying for Him to show me what He wants from me in my life. I may not get married and honestly i'm okay with that.

I think are society has ruined marriage and what it looks like to have a prince charming. I'm praying for God to show me what He wants because He is the one i'm in Love with nobody else. Just Jesus and I want Him more and More daily.

In Matthew 19:12 Jesus says others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it. Am i ready to accept the fact that marriage may not be for me yes. Because that means that I will be working for Jesus kingdom and doing His will and going where He wants me.

I'm not writing this blog to have other people feel sorry for me and to have me be hooked up with some of your single friends im writting this because i do believe that not everybody is called to be married. Some are called to stay single so they can focus on God and not on there significant other.

Love in Christ,

Lauren

Goals in life

So God has been teaching me alot lately. And one of them is to stop and be still and really listen to Him.

I've been wanting to plan my life out for the longest time. But i've finally have realized that God is in charge that i can plan out my goals because God will just change them. I wanted to be a mom and a wife before i left for LA and yes i still have that desire in my heart but the biggest desire is to move back to the inner city and just serve God there.

I would love to be a full time missionary and change the world for the Lord and Savior of my life Jesus Christ. I have many goals in my life but do i know if they will happen know because the only person who knows that is God and im trusting Him

This week

Wow God is amazing. So last week project go handed over to us and it was good but last week was hard we didnt really rely on each other and for me i didnt even rely on God and so it was a hard week. Wednesday we had a reflection night and i prayed that God would bond as a team more and that we would become closer and has He ever answered that prayer like crazy. Tonight we had a worship and prayer night and it was so amazing. We had one girl pray about something that she never thought she would pray and it was amazing to see. We all prayed on her and prayed for what was going on. I prayed and then somebody came around and prayed for us. He prayed for stuff that he felt like God was putting on his heart and what he prayed for me was stuff that i needed to have prayer for. God is amazing and we serve and awesome God. Thanks for all the prayers and everything that you guys have done.

God bless

My heart

So God has been changing my heart in amazing ways on project.

The main one is that I feel a calling to be here in the Inner City. I don't know if that is truly what God wants or if it just the truly amazing things that I've been seeing here on project.

The 2nd week of ministry site made me realize this. The site we were at was just amazing. We had a VBS and the kids are so hungry for God and wanting to know Him and so are the families. But there are issues from holding them back from going to the church and to the S.A.Y YES program and that would be an invisible barrier because of gangs. There are gangs at the place that we did the ministry site and there is another gang at the place that we would meet at thats where the Church and S.A.Y Yes center is. So these kids who are young arent able to cross that barrier because of the gangs that they arent even involved in. That broke my heart hearing that. I saw these kids come to know the Lord and saw them hungry to know Him more and more in there life and seeing that they might not be able to go to these things because of Gangs broke my heart and just made me want to see a change.

Slowly God has been giving me visions and wanting to change that area according to His will.

I know this is a short blog but this is just what God has been doing in my life.

PLEASE be praying for me. That i will follow God and what His will is for my life. I really need prayer for that right now.

God Bless,

Lauren

1st week on ministry site

Hey all. So God has been so amazing this week on are first week on are ministry site.

The first day was kinda hard. We have to take a bus for 2 hrs there and 2 hrs back so a total of 4 hrs on the bus. Monday we didnt get to work with any kids really. We just did training to see what we had to do and how to evangelize to children. Well towards the end of the day the leader of the site we are at wanted us to go to a park and talk to little kids at the park. Us as a team were kinda worried about this because we didn't know how to do it because there is so many issues in this society about going up to kids and just talking to them at a park because they automaticlly think pedafila. So it has hard but God worked on are heart.

Tuesday was the first day at the site. We do a bible club and it was so amazing. There was only a total of 4 kids and 6 students. But God worked on their hearts and one girl raised her hand and wanted to hear more about God and salvation. She decided that she didnt want to know anymore. This is also the day that we went to a bible study with are action group and it was so amazing to just hang out with some amazing women of God who are always challenging us women here on project

Wednesday the same girl who raised her hand on tuesday prayed to receive Christ with another student on project and that same day I talked with a girl about Christ and she had already accepted Christ but she needed some more information about stuff. So that most amazing to see how God used the students here to work on these kids hearts and how they could do some amazing things in their life.

Thursday was another great day at the site. More kids showed up and it was just so cool to see God used those times to see how they were so open to hearing the Gospel. That day God used me to to lead a child to Christ. It was so amazing to see how He can use us sinners to lead other people to Him. He has just been humbling me in so many ways. That was the day i also meet with my discipler and it was amazing. She is a strong women of faith and she has been just challenging me and and encouraging me at the same time. I love it.

Today was are last day with these kids. And it was so sad to leave these kids that i have gotten to know so much this week. But i know God will keep working on there hearts and working on it.

Please Keep praying for this whole project. That not only me but everybody here on the project with keep growing in there faith and just trusting God and knowing that He will do amazing things.

Thanks everybody.