Blessings

As i sit in my dorm room its the last day i have with my roommates. These last couple of days God has been rocking my world. I've realized how much i've been blessed while here at Wayne. I've been given two amazing roommates who love God and have pushed me to be better in my walk and who i've had some amazing laughs and crys with. I will miss them like crazy.

I've been given a best friend who love Jesus and who is constantly pushing me to be better in my walk, who will give me tough love when i need it, who is always a phone call away when i've been having a bad day, and will just sit there when i need to cry. I've been blessed to see her grow in her walk and realize that I am blessed her call her my best friend and my sister. She has seen me laugh so much that i've almost cried and she has seen me at my worst yet has never given up on me. She is my best friend and has shown me that trust is real and people won't always leave.

I was given four amazing guy friends this year who have just blessed me so much. I've never have laughed so much when i'm with them. I thank God for them in my life and they are great and I pray that they will find Jesus.

I was given a teacher who showed me what it means to really have empathy for people. He has shown me numerous things and God has just shown up in his life this year and all the years i've had him. I remember sitting in his class my sophomore year and hating him and thinking that he was so unprofessional because he dropped the f bomb all the time. Well here comes my second year and he is my favorite professor on campus. Crazy how God can change your hear. It was in his class that I got my calling to work with inner city kids. I remember sitting there one day and him talking about youth and how they have no hope because they don't have anybody who loves them and my heart and mind going they need Jesus and God telling me I would be working with youth like them some day. Last summer i had the amazing chance to go to the Inner City of LA and seeing God show up there and changing my heart. I told this professor that it was in his class i got the calling and he told me that he believes where God wants you is the most amazing place to be and to follow my dreams and desires as long as they line up with Gods. I've had many conversations with this professor about my life and his life and I pray that someday he will be in heaven with me and all my christian friends.

This professor has shown me nothing but love and mercy. When i took my last final with him he walked me out and told me that he would miss me and that he would always remember me and that i've set the record to how many classes somebody has taken with him. I will miss him dearly and he has told me to write a book about my life, Dr. Greene you are the one who should write about your life. You have a story nobody could ever imagine. Thank you for who you are and what you are doing here at Wayne State. Keep changing students lives.

Then you have all my Cru friends. you have never given up on me. When times are tough and i want to pull away you bring me back to Christ and i thank you for that. I don't know what i would do without you guys. I will miss you all like crazy!

Kingsley! Oh emily you mean so much to me and i thank God for putting you in my life when i needed you the most! You have helped me so much and thank you.

To all my Wayne State friends i will miss you and I thank God for you and you have all had a special place in my heart. Mostly God has blessed me with some amazing people and my prayer is that you all realize that.

Wayne

Oh Wayne State, we have a bitter sweet relationship. You have been a great place for me to grow in my faith, yet at the same time i feel like i'm comfortable. God has blessed me so much with Wayne I've meet my best friend Kristen who has been there for me know matter what and has heard me confess sins that i've never confessed to people before, been there for me to cry, and mostly we have had many laughs together. As i sit here and realize that I only have two weeks left my heart is breaking.

There are so many things i'm going to miss about Wayne. The way I have a great community, my best friend, laughter, memories. Yet i'm ready to see what God has for me, yet I hate good byes. I have two roommates who are amazing and I dont know if there will ever be roommates who will be able to compare to them. They are two women of God who love the Lord and challenge me in amazing ways, we have had some great laughs, and we have had serious conversations, and also have had tension yet God has worked on that room in amazing ways.

I'm going to miss Wayne, I know I've said I hate it but i loved all the years i've had there and God had there for me a reason and right now it's time to leave and honestly my heart is breaking and I'm excited for Grace but I will miss Wayne.

For all the people who have helped me through all the hard and good times at Wayne I will miss you like crazy.

School

So this year of school has been really hard emotionally and spiritually. Im not a big fan of school and most of the time i just want to check out and say peace out Wayne, yet God wont allow me to or if He is im being stubborn and wont see it. See I use to love Wayne i use to love being there and seeing my friends and seeing what God was doing in there life well for some reason this year has changed a lot. I love Wayne and I love my friends but stuff is just different. I cant stand being there for to long I love to come home now and not only because I get to see my family but i get to go to the place where I feel like God is calling me to well for this summer. Its called Abide and i'm doing a summer leadership course with them called Spearhead and I know God is calling me there. I just want to be there and I dont know if its me wanting to just run from school and go do ministry or what it is but im ready for school to be done.

School has never been my thing. I've always been one of those people who learns outside of the classroom. I've learned more about life while I was in LA and while I've done things in Omaha then I ever have in the classroom. I've learned more about empathy and what it takes to be a good counselor outside of the classroom than i have ever learned in my classes for my counseling major. I want to be done with school and following God. I want to be more like Jesus and yes i can do that in Wayne but i feel like Wayne sucks life out of you sometimes. Im ready to be done!! I've prayed about and people have been praying for me and I just wish i had a peace about one of the two because honestly my heart is torn and I know God is working and I need to be praising Him for all that is going on and honestly I am because He is teaching me to cling to Him more and that I need to realize how amazing community is. So just be in prayer for me about what i need to do. I only have a year left and honestly it would be pointless to drop out and not finish school but I want to be happy and to follow God so i really dont know. So hopefully God will show me what He wants and He will show me how to be happy in the times when all i want to do is pout and have people feel sorry for me.

Thats not what I want. Truth be told what I want is prayer for God to show me His will and that my flesh would get out of that and that I would be obedient. I need more of Him and less of Me.

God Bless

Jesus Christ

I don't want this candy coated Jesus Christ that America is showing me. What I want is the real Jesus. The Jesus who came to this earth as a man. Who cared for the sick, the fatherless, the widows, and was the healer. That is the Jesus I want. I want to have faith like my creator. I dont want the faith that America is telling me to have. The faith where i still live for Jesus but i still live to pursue the american dream. NO!! That is not what i want. I want to live for Jesus and live like Him! Why have we made Christianity so much about ourselves and not about Him? When did we stop living for Him and start living for worldly things? We say we want to be like Jesus but are we really striving to be like Jesus or are we just not looking like the world? The Jesus that I live for is a Jesus who came to save me. But He also came so i can live for Him and live like Him. I dont know if that is the Jesus you serve but that is the Jesus that i want to serve. So that is my rant.

Peace